Stephanie Bri is here to stay. As a result I fully intend to write a column entirely from her perspective in the near future. Obviously I’ve been letting her voice take over more lately which has been very helpful in getting me aligned properly.
It won’t mean much but what I will do is create a column just for Stephanie. It will be a combination of gaming and nerdy topic gossip, rumors and such with a mix of editorial and some fashion/cosplay advice. Basically the bitch is out of the closet and she’s going to be taking over this site. Stay Cool.
Alright friends I am excited to say that next weekend I will be heading to Arlington Event Center to attend my first ever convention. I am looking forward to attending Retropalooza. I am not sure what to expect because this is my first convention but I wanted to outline my hopes ahead of time to compare this to how the actual experience turns out. This way I can see if I had realistic expectations or not.
I am expecting this to be like any other flea market or festival I have attended which means there should be food vendors selling home made stuff right out of the food truck. I am not sure if this is a realistic expectation as I have never been to one but I am hopeful this is the case. I would love to get some street tacos made fresh on the spot.
2. Toys and games
Specifically I am thinking the vendors or sellers. I am fairly certain there will be some video game sellers. I am hopeful there will also be retro toy sellers. Specifically I am looking to dig through a big bucket or tote of random Transformers, TMNT, and GI Joe action figures, all reasonably priced I would imagine.
I am not sure what to expect but I would think there would be a sufficient variety of sellers to choose from. As for video games I have my hope list narrow down to what I will buy from a convention. Since it is a retro gaming expo I am not going to buy anything new. The newest device I would consider is a PSP because I have an overwhelming desire to get one eventually and now is as good of a time as any.
I would contemplate a Dreamcast, 3DO. 32X or Virtual Boy as those are harder to find in the wild. I thought about a Sega Saturn but that’s a pipe dream so I will lower my expectations.
I am not sure I want to buy an autograph of anyone who is attending but I might try to grab a selfie with Boogie or Wood if I can. But the real reason I am going is to have fun, meet people and maybe do some networking. I am also planning on filming some footage for a video and naturally a podcast.
I am not sure if this is the type of convention that people normally cosplay to but if so I already have a costume purchased and ready to go. It will be my first public outing in drag as Stephanie so I am really looking forward to that. If I arrive and nobody is cosplaying then I will either feel like a fool or suck it up and stand out. Either way I am looking forward to dressing up even if nobody gets to see the costume live on scene.
5. Road trip
No matter how the day turns out it will at the very least be a nice little road trip and those are always fun. I can always use a good excuse to eat some jerky. I am not looking forward to fighting the city traffic but it’s a small price to pay for a day of fun.
That’s about all I have for now. I am hoping this experience is memorable and I can’t wait to share how it turns out. Stay Cool.
It was scary and thrilling at the same time. I put on my make up, dress and cute witches hat, sat down and recorded an entire episode of my podcast not as him but as me. It was hard. It was exciting. It was fun!
I knew someday Stephanie was going to be out. I don’t know if she will ever get to take over our life but I want to ensure she gets to be herself more than ever before. It hasn’t been easy for me getting to this point. In fact it’s been extremely tumultuous. No agonizing. No, oh there probably isn’t a word for it. Is there a word for this feeling you have doing the absolutely most terrifying soul-crushing thing that is at the same time the most liberating and soul-freeing? I don’t know whatever that word is, that’s how I felt.
I made my first full public appearance in drag on The Dark Web Podcast. I told my audience Stephanie was coming a few weeks ago. I said she is real, she is me, but she is shy. I finally began making strides towards this about a year and a half ago when I came out officially to a female friend of mine. I decided I couldn’t hold it in any longer. Ever since that day I have been slowing giving in to being more and more Stephanie each day.
I finally got to wear I am comfortable enough painting my toe nails and wearing my flip flops sans socks in public. I’ve done that two weeks in a row now and pushed past the gut-wrenching fear. I’ve slowly begun getting used to clothes shopping, although when it comes to under things well I am still overly discrete. Dresses, blouses and even skirts I can grab without too much agony but panties and bras, well I still have a ways to go.
Things are improving. But last night I sat in front of the camera and was doing so, for the first time, comfortable in my skin, comfortable with who I am and who I’ve always wanted to be.
I will be defining more what the limits of Stephanie are in the coming days and weeks. I suspect I will set some boundaries but there is a very real chance, well now that she is out she isn’t going back in so there is a chance I let her live a little and take a back seat for a while.
If this sounds confusing trust me it is for me too. It’s not like she is a voice inside my head or a separate person or anything like that. She is me, I am her. But, well I’ve had to live a certain lie, build a life around a mask. Therefore Stephanie has a right to live, and she will! But The Rat also has to manage thing for her out of necessity for the time being.
Anyways, hey check out my video where I am totally rocking that cute dress I spent all friggin day shopping for. Stay Cool.
The other day I was watching a YouTube video depicting the scarcity of Star Wars action figures. But the video didn’t focus on how hard items are to find, but how many where sitting in clearance bins. I was at a loss for words at first thinking this must be wrong. Then I decided to check out a few of my local toy shops. needless to say I didn’t find much at all in the way of Star Wars product on shelves, clearance or otherwise.
I have always attributed Star Wars action figure scarcity to the massive number of collectors in the world seeking a limited supply of product. At first, my explanation was simple, most other people are like me not interested in the spin off or animated stuff so naturally those toys aren’t selling. But then it occurred to me, when I was shopping for Phantom Menace stuff it was everywhere and retro stuff was hard to find. The collectors were very vocal about how they just wanted OT toys nothing from the new movie. I have felt this way myself about the Clone Wars, Rebels and other animated programs. Frankly I refuse to buy any product branded with the name Star Wars that features those designs and characters. For me, it’s obvious that is not my Star Wars.
But the animated shows remained popular as do the new Disney movies. Since the individual making the toy video I saw made really negative comments about the Disney Star Wars as a whole, indicating to me there was some bias, I decided to dismiss it as such and move on. My instinct was kids today will see this as their Star Wars and buy the toys accordingly. But I did notice something unusual. If the trend is for collectors to snatch up retro stuff and young kids to snatch up the new stuff, it would stand to reason the retro stuff would also be scarce. If, on the other hand, nobody was buying Star Wars stuff, or if the retro collectors were as they say burned out, then it would stand to reason the new stuff would be hard to get and the retro stuff would be in the clearance bins.
That was it. I decided to investigate. I didn’t come to the same conclusion as the person making the obviously biased, entirely negative video, but I did notice a trend. The stores I went to had an equal number of PT, OT, and Disney Trilogy toys for sale. The characters from the animated shows were nowhere to be found with only a few side characters from the new films available. My initial conclusion, based on this being the first day the toyline was refreshed and there was new stock in store made me question a few things.
I was shopping early in the morning. I headed to Walmart around 7:30 a.m. If the new toys were put out around say Midnight then the collectors must have camped out and picked them bone dry. All that was left were a few of the side characters I am sure nobody cared about. The one thing that stood out was the Return of the Jedi Skiff vehicle retailing for just under $40. That seemed excessive for me considering what it was. Especially since I recently picked up a decked out Rise of the TMNT Turtle Tank for about that and even a Scooby Doo 50th Birthday Mystery Van with Fred for half that price. This told me that the OT stuff still fetches a premium price tag and that the collectors were on the ball.
If there was a shortage of toys the first day it came out that doesn’t indicate to me a lack of interest, on the contrary it tells me the collectors, or at the very least scalpers, are out in full force. I will be keeping an eye on this trend now that it’s been brought to my attention. Of course, keep in mind I am only now getting back into toy collecting so my knowledge of the current landscape is fairly limited. Stay Cool.
I am two weeks away from attending my first ever convention. This year I will be going to Retropalooza, a retro video game convention held in Alrington, Texas. I chose this one to be my first because it was the easiest one to get to considering I am about an hour away from Arlington.
I decided since this will be my first convention I would double it as an opportunity to do my first cosplay. Since that is the case I will be going both as THERAT and Stephanie to this thing. I am not sure what it will be like walking around in public for the first time dressed as a woman but I am excited for it. I am trying to build up anticipation so that I don’t chicken out.
Gearing up for the trip I have set up an interview with a YouTuber who is known as a Transgender gamer. She will be making an appearance on my podcast to talk about being trans and a geek, plus gamer stuff and other topics. I am so looking forward to this much needed vacation. Stay Cool.
Ever since I was a kid I would play dress up with my sisters. As I was the only boy it was easy for me to find myself lured into the seductive world of the mysterious female creature. Not that I want to belittle women, on the contrary I am not only fascinated by femininity on a personal level, I have a deep respect for what females go through. Over the years there were a number of movies, TV shows, cartoons, toys and even video games that either inspired me or motivated me in some way as I explored the feminine form through cross dressing.
Below are a few of the different works that shaped my world.
Boy Meets World
It was season 3. Corey Mathews and Shawn Hunter were doing a class project to become a female in order to experience dating from the eyes of a girl. It was an eye-opening episode that stirred things not only in myself, but clearly in the writers as it really cemented the comedic running gag of the adoration the two friends had for one another.
It wasn’t the Girl Like Me episode that really tickled the girl hiding inside’s fancy. It was actually the later episode where Joey the Rat and Frankie the Enforcer dress the two boys in cheerleader outfits. By the time I discovered this episode I had already stolen my sisters discarded cheerleader uniform and claimed it as my own. Oh I wore that thing out with my secretive dance routines. Not for nothing but it was glorious for me to see my role models strutting their stuff on national TV in front of all my peers quietly reaffirming my own feminine desires. I experienced a similar incident when one of my male friends dressed like a girl to school for a class project and one of the boys in class commented how nice his ass looked in girl pants. I wasn’t in his grade, I was a couple years older but when he relayed the story to me I immediately mentioned our mutually favorite TGIF sitcom to which he smiled and got into the spirit of it.
Super Mario Bros. 2
This one is two fold. First it was the perfect opportunity for me to play a video game as a female character. It was a way to cross dress in plain sight, even if it was only virtually the case. Still playing the game as Princess Toadstool (peach) was such a revelation for me. I enjoyed it a little too much at times I must say. It quickly became one of my favorite video games of all time. It was easy for me to justify picking the princess too because she had that floating jump that made her useful as a character.
In later years I would learn to use video games to express my girly side more often. I had to be sneaky at times with some games but it started with me running around Subcon as the princess of the Mushroom Kingdom on a quest to return home.
All of that by itself was easily enough to stir things in me. However Nintendo Company Limited, or NCL, the Japanese parent of Nintendo of America, sneaked a nifty little cross dressing surprise in the game just for “girls” like me. Birdo is a pink bird enemy boss in the game that shoots eggs at the player. Fortunately in the official lore Birdo is actually a cross dresser pretending to be a girl bird but is really a guy bird. They never explain how he/she is able to shoot/lay eggs but that’s not too important, after all it is a fantasy game.
Being John Malkovich
I cried. I literally cried when I got to the end and heard the voice over of the adult male swimming in the pool inside the body of the young girl. I had long desired to not only look and act more like a girl but there was always this part of me that really wanted to have a female body, complete with all the stuff most girls complain about.
The movie itself is very weird. At first I was only passively into it out of morbid curiosity. However as the story progressed it captured my imagination and held my attention until the very end. To this day I feel a stirring whenever I think of this movie. In fact it was such a powerful feelings I’ve since decided to ration my viewings of the film in order to preserve some of that mystery. I would hate to watch it too much and wear it down.
If this movie didn’t make a list of a budding cross dresser as something to explore I’d say that person isn’t digging deep enough. A combination of heartfelt, awakening and a little on the creepy side, it has that perfect blend that makes you just uncomfortable enough with how comfortable it makes you feel about cross dressing, transgenderism and even homosexuality if you go that route. It was one of those movies that was hiding some subtext I picked up on quickly under that mask of a kids show. Don’t think that was lost on someone like me who enjoyed heavily seeking out forms of entertainment that either normalized, if not glamorized the ideas I was fostering.
This. This game was heavenly. The first time I realized I could create an imaginary world where I could live out my fantasy of being a woman entirely from childhood into adulthood was mesmerizing. Of course I was already a fan of sim type games, Sim City, Sim Earth, Sim Ant, etc., but to get to create a female character with her own hopes, dreams, personality and style and then set her on the path to success, OMG it was beyond heavenly, it was absolute ecstasy.
This one falls more under the category of exploring lesbianism as a potential lifestyle. Still, as someone who was fascinated with all aspects of femininity I couldn’t help but consider the need to also learn about the females who were sexually attracted to other females.
The movie is considered archaic today by the LGBT community for it’s stance on being gay being a choice which is not the common view point held by many in the community. Still, it was one of those movies that, at the time, did a lot for breaking down walls and getting people like me to ask the questions my parents were hoping I would avoid.
The movie itself doesn’t really do much for a cross dresser but it still helps normalize the alternative lifestyles as they call it which something.
The Secret World of Alex Mack
This one isn’t so much about cross dressing in particular but it was one of the earliest examples of a female super hero that really stuck with me. It was a teenage girl trying to live her normal life while being granted super powers. Of course the far superior and vastly more popular Buff the Vampire Slayer would soon replace it in the cultural lexicon but you have to give it props for being able to lure young boys into a watching a TV show where the main character is sort of an action hero and totally a chick.
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
I already mentioned it above but this show broke down barriers. It obviously left a mark on me. Now truth be told I already had a crush on the young Alyson Hannigan from her appearance in My Step-Mother is an Alien a few years prior. It was easy for me to get into this show as it featured her as one of the prominent characters throughout.
This show started off with the lesbian leaving Ross for another woman right off the bat. It also sported three equally interesting and very strong female leads who carried the weight of the show as much as, if not more than, their male counterparts.
Over the entire course of the show’s run I took flack for liking it so much from many of my male compatriots. It was called a show for chicks, a show for gays, or both. I didn’t care I replied, Rachel is hot so whatever. Hey, Rachel was hot so there is that. Nobody needed to know I was equally checking out the cute outfit she was rocking each week while also appreciating the rest of her beauty. There was also the episode with Ben playing with his Barbie. Obviously this stirred things up in me as well.
I know I’ve talked about this a lot but you know what, if my older sister hadn’t introduced me to the lovely world of this amazing super hero with her cast of colorful friends, who knows what I might have ended up liking. The toy and cartoon both had an impact on my interests in life early on. I especially liked the purple girl that wore glasses. She was my favorite.
There are many others, too many for an article such as this. Here are a few quickies to round out the spectrum.
G1 Transformers and Arcee, a female robot made by male robots to understand females.
Super Metroid for staring a bad-ass action hero that looked somewhat masculine to trick boys into playing but was totally a woman underneath it all.
Clueless, a teen comedy all about fashion and shopping. What’s not to like.
Herman’s Head. He had a chick living inside his head controlling his sensitive side.
And there you have it a brief list of movies, cartoons, video games and toys that either inspired or influenced the cross dresser in me. Stay Cool.
Welcome back to another article here at The Spiders Lair, Where Chaos Resides. This time I am happy to announce I am starting a new video series called “What’s New to YouTube” where I will talk about newer, smaller channels.
Each week I will shoot out a Tweet and Facebook post inviting YouTube Content Creators to recommend their channel for review. I will select one channel based on the following criteria.
1. The show must be active
The creator needs to be making new videos semi-regularly, once a month will do. They must also be actively promoting the channel. This can be social media, podcasts, other means. As long as the creator is trying to grow his or her respective show I will check it out.
2. It must be a small audience.
The purpose of the show is to help get exposure to new, smaller channels while creating quality content that other YouTubers will enjoy. The channel cannot have more than 100 subscribers.
3. It must be relatively new.
This is subjective but if the channel was created in the last year and is actively growing it is eligible. If the channel was created some time ago and only posts sporadic content on rare occasions it is not actively trying to grow and is not eligible.
4. There needs to be some proof of commitment.
This is also subjective but I am using 20 videos as a minimum threshold. The most current video cannot be older than a month or else it won’t be considered active.
5. It has to be quality content.
This is very subjective but Let’s Eat, prank shows, conspiracy theorists, hate speech, personal diary style vlogs etc., will most likely not make the cut. But don’t hold back submit a channel and see if it gets featured.
I will feature one channel a week. I will look at the content, I will reach out to the creator on social media and I will link back to the channel and creator’s social media once the video is live on my channel. The creator is free to share the video and discuss it in their own content; blog, podcast etc., but they are not allowed to upload it to their channel or spam the comments of the video.
I am trying to make a series of magazine/TV style videos similar to Entertainment Tonight or TV Guide that brings attention to quality, but unknown, content.
I have a companion show called What’s Streaming. There is absolutely NO criteria for this show, I decide which videos or channels to feature.
What’s New to YouTube will ONLY review YouTube channels. I am not interested in Twitch or similar content. What’s Streaming can be anything, from YouTube, Twitch or podcasts to Hulu, Netflix and the like.
If you want to submit your channel for review on this exciting new series feel free to respond to one of the social media posts on Twitter @ phatrat1982 or Facebook @ thespiderslairblog. As always, Stay Cool.
Recently I was watching a web video that I check out once in a while and they brought up a topic that I have been considering tackling for some time now. I am not sure if I want to turn this into a full blown series or not. I might offer my generalized views on some of these topics sans “real evidence” and see where it goes. I disagree with the notion that our internet culture has perpetuated this myth that everything needs to be proven in order for it to be fact.
Anyways the topics I intend to discuss are some that I have been considering for a while now so here they are, UFO’s/Aliens, Lochness Monster, Big Foot, Fairies, Dinosaurs, Dragons, Gods, Demons, Ghosts, Angels, Space Travel, Time Travel, Life After Death, ESP, Secret Societies, and cyborgs. I might go into more depth with certain topics but for now I just want to throw some of my general thoughts down for others to consider.
I will tackle them one at a time so sit back and prepare for a whole bunch of controversy.
For starters I would like to distinguish between UFO’s and Extraterrestrials. I am skeptical that any government or even coalition of Governments could manage to come together to fully enact a complete cover up on something that would have such a huge impact on human society. I mean hell the governments of the world can’t even agree on Global Warming how the hell can anyone believe they are competent enough to secretly agree to cover up any contact with any extraterrestrial life.
I am not going to say the universe is so big there is a probability there might be life out there, that is nonsense. First off we do not know how big the universe really is, even the best estimates by the supposed experts are not consistent and if you really examine their evidence it’s dubious at best. We don’t know if the Universe is a billion light years across, or barely ten thousand light years, or even smaller, or larger. We don’t even know the shape of the universe, which makes any size estimates impossible.
There is a theory that suggests the universe is a giant bubble, well if we look too far part say Andromeda in one direction and measure the light from an object further from Andromeda in one direction how can we tell if the universe is a bubble that we are not seeing the light wrap around and the object supposedly far away past Andromeda is really close by on the OTHER side of us but we are just not able to measure it properly because our instruments can only measure what light PASSES by our Star, we can’t even account for the light that goes in a complete opposite direction. Consider this, if in fact we sitting here on Earth can see in every direction possible then that leads me to speculate that we must in fact be the center of said universe.
But since that is not the accepted view and the ‘evidence’ is skewed towards a specific world view, it makes it difficult to make any argument one way or the other. So the universe could be so big we can’t fathom it, or it could be smaller than we realize. How do we know those “Red Giants” are really super massive stars mega light years away, rather than “tiny dwarf stars” that are just barely past Pluto? We don’t know and the scientists admit they don’t know. There are some commonly quoted experiments that are taken as fact when in reality they are guesses based on very outdated math.
If you take that away and assume the universe is smaller than expected the chances of alien life out there shrinks. Now not to totally dismiss the science because there is solid evidence that we can measure, but it is our interpretation of the data that I question. I do know no matter what there is no chance in HELL every single government secretly agreed to cover up alien contact, what would be their motivation for doing so, hell our own Government can’t even agree on a single issue, other than to give themselves pay raises so unless the aliens promised every single Government official eternal life, I doubt there is any way they could have covered it up this long.
UFO’s are a different story, there are secret government weapons being developed all the time so those are your “Unidentified Flying Objects” but Flying Saucers, not possible.
Aliens Real or Fake: Fake
Despite all I had to say about aliens I have only one thing to say about this one, twenty years ago I could have given this a possible consideration but with our current underwater imaging technology there is no Lochness Monster sorry but if there was it would have been found by now, HELLO if it was REAL Scotland would not cover it up they would be capturing that son of a bitch and having their own little “Jurassic Park” honestly this is a no-brainer.
Real or Fake: Fake
Do men walk the Earth, yes, do Apes and other primates walk the Earth, also yes. Is there a chance there is some un-evolved Human/Ape Hybrid hiding out in the Canadian and USA, not a chance. Again this comes down to two realities, the big foot is not the supposed missing link. With that said I DO think there could be some type of as of yet uncategorized life form that might resemble the big foot creature.
Real or Fake: Possible but not likely what people think it is.
This one is a little less controversial, most people would just dismiss any notion Fairies could even exist and shrug them off. On the other hand I do believe there are spiritual forces out there we can’t explain, see my views on Ghosts, Demons, and Angels, below. I have researched both the Celtic view on fairies and more modern views on fairies. I believe that there could be some creature out there that could use magic to disguise itself from man kind.
Yes I do believe in “magic” but when you read what I consider magic it might shatter your mind. Either way I am skeptical that the Tinker Bell type fairy is real or has ever existed, I think what people think of as Fairies are modernized perversions of outdated views on Angels and nothing more. Since I do believe in Angels I would contend that Fairies are just Angels that have been miscategorized.
Fairies Real or Fake: Real but misunderstood
I am not sure if I want to get into this one too deep, I have strong views on this subject that are complicated and difficult to resolve with current mass cultural views. I think Dinosaurs might have existed and might still exist, but I doubt they are what we classify them as. In fact I find it easier to believe in Dragons than I do Dinosaurs. I think that despite the common perception there is a lot of evidence that is not only dubious but it’s not even generally agreed upon. Not to mention just like with Stars, we are interpreting data and you can’t assume one interpretation must be right and another must be false. That is why I think realistically Dinosaurs are harder to reconcile with my beliefs.
Real or Fake: Real but see below.
Dragons are spoken of in nearly every world religion in one way or another and not a single one resembles a single species of Dinosaur that has been classified. In fact none of the current fossils on display even match the views on Dinosaurs as most have been rearranged so many times it’s all speculation how the bones went together no matter what anyone says.
I think Dinosaurs and Dragons are the same thing and I believe they both do still exist but I think they are not the same as what people picture. Dragons are less likely to be Lord of the Rings, D&D, type monsters but I think they are probably just giant snakes that some people might have over exaggerated. I do believe in the spiritual war between God and Satan and I am sure Satan can and does in fact use Dragons in his arsenal.
Real or Fake: Very real, but spiritual today, physical form unknown
I am torn on this one, I believe that the God of the Bible is the one true God, the Almighty creator of everything. I also believe that the Bible mentions other gods, even false gods, in a context that could be interpreted many different ways. Ca I say for sure that Demons are being worshiped as “gods” or that other, lesser godlike beings can’t exist? There are such confusing and difficult imagery in the Bible I content that there is one higher God, the God of the universe, but I don’t know that is mutually exclusive to a singular pantheon or if it is possible God might have other beings that are considered gods by others. I believe that there are unexplainable spiritual forces and not all of them can be classified simple as Angels and Fallen Angels/Demons.
Gods Real or Fake: Jesus, the Almighty Lord our Holy Father an the Holy Spirit, very real I would give my life for that, lesser “gods” there are some spiritual beings we can’t explain, some of them might be what other cultures worship as gods so they might be real but they are not the One True God.
Fallen Angles, as the common Biblical understanding refers to them as. I find that safe and believable. I think Demons are separate from Devils and The Devil, or Satan but I am not sure how they rank.
Demons Real or Fake: Very real.
Some Christians think Ghosts are impossible, some claim they are just demons trying to trick people or Angels that aren’t fully understood. I believe they are possible. The Bible is not at all clear on what specifically happens the exact moment we die. The common quoted verse says “Absent from the Body Present with the Lord” well contradicts, on the surface, the notion of God being Omnipresent. Meaning if the Holy Spirit dwells in our Body, another verse calls our body the “temple of the Lord” then we are always present with God.
Also there is the verse, the Dead in Christ Shall Rise first, among others such as the story of the man in hell talking to people in Heaven, or at least outside of Hell. My view is people once dead leave their bodies, some might go straight to heaven or they might stick around, at God’s approval of course, and try to accomplish whatever He allows them to. I think He can also extend this courtesy to the damned also, there is nothing that says once you leave your body your instantly in Hell if you are damned, in fact it makes it sound very much like there is a future date where that happens so ghosts might be damned souls sticking around trying to warn their loved one and they are just not able to reach them all. See ESP below.
Ghosts Real or Fake: Real but they could be unexplainable.
If time travel were possible it would put God in quite a bind. The Lord and his Heavenly Host can see the future, I am sure they can extend that to human should they choose but going forward or backwards in time is not humanly possible without aid of the Lord Almighty, and the scientific community agrees the laws of Physics make time travel impossible as does all philosophical views on the subject.
Real or Fake: Fake
This is a more touchy one, I do believe in spiritual forces and I believe in magical or supernatural abilities to manipulate these forces. ESP is just one supernatural ability all Christians should be fully aware of, in a sense Prayer is a type of ESP and I believe in the power of Prayer.
Real or Fake: Real with Spiritual assistance.
I don’t know if I can tackle this one in such a short space, honestly I doubt the Illuminati, the Free Masons, or even the Church of Scientology have some global reach that can manipulate world events. Do I think it is possible for secret societies to exist, yes I call them Cults and some have extraordinary reach, others are just localized.
Real or Fake: Real but I doubt there is a single one with a global reach. Stay Cool.
I took the site down, I am rebuilding it. The truth is I was trying a new content management software and decided I hated it. I like to be in more control of the look and feel of the websites I put my name on. So I am rebuilding the site using the tools I know how to make it the way I want. Going Broke Media is not a site for the public it is a site, plain and simple, for me to promote myself period. I intend to use it to showcase all the creative works I can because I want to use it to promote my career.
I can’t explain it to people who think money is the only motivator but I don’t want to work a typical job and live a typical life. I am willing to get a realistic job that is suitable for my talents and earn a proper living which is why I am in school, but I am a visionary, an artist, a story teller at heart and I need a venue to share my works. That is what Going Broke Media is. I chose the name because I am flat broke and it sounds better than cliche starting artist or something lame. Also it has a nice ring to it.
No it is not a joke it is the real name of my company, a company that I actually am in the process of building from the ground up. What I want to do is not something I can explain to people I don’t have a career path in mind. I want a degree that gives me the flexibility to move where I want and get into any normal office or business at the entry level, which is why I settled on Business.
My typical go to work job needs to be something where I can have job functions that use my talents of organizing data and problem solving and business is that. I am pretty talented at keep track of information and deciphering what it means, writing reports, and processing that data into tangible arguments and presentations. Consider that my day job, the Bruce Wayne of what my life will be. The other side is the creative person who strives to do whatever I want as long and as much as I can.
Some things not many people know about me but I do like to paint. I have canvases, paints, and an easel all for the purpose of creative paintings. No I don’t want to be a painter it isn’t even a hobby it’s just something to do when I feel like it. Something most people do know is I like to make music, and I also like to create and edit videos. Now I don’t exactly want to make a career in video production, I researched what it takes and it’s not for me.
However in today’s world with our modern technology it is possible to create audio/visual works with little money. As someone who has studied theater, films, cinematography, and mass communication in general, I am fairly confident that I can create videos that are compelling and entertaining. I might not become a big budget film maker, which again that is not my goal, but I will continue to make videos as much as I can. I do it because it’s what I want to do.
I also write short stories for the same reason, I have tried many times to write a novel and realized that was not for me, what I should do is write a story that interests me and instead of trying to get it published in the traditional way to make money, I will just share my works with the world via my new website. The point is I just want to share my works with people because it gives me pleasure doing so, even if they do not fully understand my works.
Not everyone gets A Midnight to Forget, hell it was a sloppy effort for an online film class that I cut together using random footage I had saved up over the years. But see that was the point, when I began shooting random footage over the years it was with the intention to compile it all together at a later date and weave it into a visual story, something I accomplished even if it does need explaining for people to “get it” and those who don’t get it that is fine it isn’t meant to be gotten by everyone. The same is true for my music, I create music with one purpose, for me to listen to when I am in the mood, others are free to enjoy my music if they choose to but the music I create is for me.
So what changed, when did I stop trying to commercialize my works? I didn’t are you not paying attention that is what the website is about, by compiling all my creative works together I am show casing to the world all that I do, giving them a place to see what I have done, what I am working on currently, and what I intend to do down the road.
This opens up the door for me to sell my ideas to those who might be interested or maybe someone approaches me and likes what they see and asks for my help with something. I can afford to be selective because my goal is not to be a famous director or music producer, my goal is simply to do what I enjoy doing and live the life I set out to live. Some think of it as lonely but that is their problem, their weakness not mine.
What about The Spiders Lair? What is that all about you might ask? Well let me put it simply Going Broke Media is my professional side, it showcases all the creative works that I have done or will ever do. The Spiders Lair is a personal website that show cases all the things that inspire me in this world, those things that interest me the most. It is also a place for me to organize my thoughts. Both web sites are currently under construction but since they are basically pretty simple ventures there is not much to do I expect them to be completed shortly.
Some websites I attempted to do before were just overwhelming, these latest two ventures are actually rather simple, they represent me, my professional, creative, artistic side, and my personal side. I do not currently have a time frame on when either site will relaunch, I would hope to get them going this next week or so but realistically it might be this summer before I get them up and running due to school, work, and life in general. Stay Cool.