I’m running from this Nightmare…

The year was sometime in the late 1980’s, probably 1987 or so. It was before my baby sister was brought into this world. Of course not much earlier but still I am certain she hadn’t come along yet. We were living in this small town so far out of the way in Kansas it could have been the setting of a slasher movie. It was the summer before I started school that much I know. I remember because of the house we lived in. It was the house next door to the video store. My parents had just bought our first VCR.
Now that I have the setting let me dig into the obsession, how it began, where it came from and why it remains so important to me to this day.
 
Like so many kids of my generation I was a loner right from the start. Going into kindergarten I didn’t make friends easily. I started the school year in the same class as two of my cousins. The situation was basically their parents had married. By the end of the school year they were both making friends, while me, I was still sitting by myself at lunch playing with my Transformers figures my parents probably didn’t even know I was sneaking to class. Well, until the stupid school called them and tattled.
I’ve said numerous times before my best friends growing up were my toys and video games. Many kids also become unnaturally attached to their video players. Mine was a short list of movies that I had to rent over, and over. The big one, the main movie I immediately looked for was Star Wars. In the event it was available for rent I would take it home and enjoy a weekend of Luke Skywalker and Han Solo rescuing Princess Leia week, after week. The other movies I liked to rent, over and over, included Ghostbusters, Gremlins, Beetlejuice, Weird Science, Return of the Killer Tomatoes, Invaders From Mars and any and all Nightmare on Elm Street movies.
The habit of renting the same movies over and over was easy for me. I was the type that once I found something I like I stuck with it. Sometimes I would look for something new, but my obsession was always just holding onto the feeling of once I found something familiar. I never did care much for change.
I distinctly remember my sister going to a slumber party with her friends and instead of going to the kids movie they told our parents they saw, they snuck into the R-rated slasher blockbuster, A Nightmare on Elm Street Part 3: The Dream Warriors. At this point, I was barely 6 when I started kindergarten so I had to be 5 the summer just before, I hadn’t ever seen any of the increasingly popular “Freddy” movies.
Despite seeing Krueger making countless cameos in other movies, commercials and TV shows, I had yet to see anything official featuring the Springwood Slasher. It would be two more years of building up the mystique in my mind before I was finally able to experience my first viewing of the famed serial dream stalker. This was of course around the time my parents let up on allowing us to rent horror movies. The movie was A Nightmare on Elm Street Part 5: The Dream Child. Up to that point I had only seen bits and pieces of the first movie in passing whenever we had a free preview weekend of HBO. How I came onto part 5 was a friend from school, I was now in 2nd grade, his parents owned a video store and he would invite me to his house to watch the new flicks. It just so happened, the Dream Child was one of the new releases they had just picked up. Getting to see a brand-new to video movie before all my friends, and for free, was a treat. The film did not disappoint either. It was the surreal dream world that had me hooked. I hadn’t seen any of the previous movies so learning the lore in passing from one of the teenagers helped keep it all mysterious and intriguing for me.
As luck, or fate would have it I just happened to be flipping the channels right after, it was probably more than a week but in my mind I remembered it as probably the next week or next day even. Anyways I was turning channels and one of the movie channels was showing a free weekend. It was perfect timing because with part 5 just hitting VHS they were showing Part 4: The Dream Master. At first I wasn’t sure it was an Elm Street movie because I missed the opening credits. All I saw was a girl in a white dress talking to a little girl drawing chalk on the side walk. I thought, hey that looks like the house from the Freddy movie. This was before I knew the house was a staple of the series. Still when the girl removed her hand to reveal Freddy my heart began racing. Finally I was going to get to see one of the previous movies. The euphoria was as real as it gets for a kid at that age. I couldn’t believe not only that it was actually on TV, unedited during a free preview, but my dad didn’t even change the channel he let me sit there and become sucked into the nightmare world entirely.
I supposed if you wanted to get down to it, watching the movies at such a young age probably contributed to the development of my interest in the franchise. As I sat there watching Dream Master I fell in love with the fantasy world these movies were creating. For me it wasn’t about the serial killer, the teenagers getting their comeuppance, or the foul language, it was all about the idea that there was an alternate reality we could escape into using our dreams. If you want the truth of it, the idea of the dream world was the allure that kept me coming back. Sure there was the cool factor of Freddy being promoted as an iconic villain of the rising “MTV generation” but it was the dreams that kept me coming back. Over the years I have become more interested with fantasy movies featuring a surreal look and gothic imagery.
Every once in a while you go through a phase. I got onto a weird computer/robot kick for a while in the 80’s. Truth be told, when I first discovered Star Wars my attraction to it was the robots, not the laser swords. In fact, I thought Darth Vader and all his Stormtroopers really were just robots. Keep in mind I was a huge Transformers and Go-Bots fan so my fascination with computers and robots was pretty much a given. My obsession with fantasy worlds probably started before Elm Street. I know I had seen The Neverending Story and Labyrinth at some point in my early childhood, oh and I was also a big fan of that Masters of the Universe movie because it also had a world-travelling fantasy element to it.
When I finally got the opportunity get around to going back to see the other movies, with the help of my video store friend, I didn’t go in numeric order. Since I had already seen 5, then 4 I went ahead and picked up part 3. This was the one where it went from a very strong fascination to a full on obsession. This movie not only became my personal favorite, it was the most like a traditional fantasy film. The whole premise of the Dream Warriors banding together to use their “dream powers” in “the dream world” to fight the monster, it was all very Dungeons and Dragons to me. Oh and it actually featured a scene with a kid playing D&D and using that later in the movie.
I don’t think I will go through each individual movie. What I will say is that my love for The Dream Warriors helped translate into a strong appreciation of the infamous LJN-produced NES game based on the film series. I always enjoyed the game and continue to defend it, to this day. I do so, mostly out of nostalgia but also out of pure joy as it was the closest chance I ever got to escaping into that magical dream world demonstrated in the movies. Yeah, I never seemed to care that entering the dream world inhabited by the Dream Demon also meant facing the monster itself. I guess you could chalk that up to me not really finding him all that scary so for me I thought it would be easy to take him on if I ever did dream him up.
Later the movies would be foundation I would use to co-develop a fantasy game I played with my sisters. It mostly centered on a group of kids hopping from one fantasy world to the next chasing down, or running from, an unstoppable monster we, unoriginally named Killer. Much of the inspiration for those characters and their journey came from the Nightmare series.
Do you want a confession? I watch the movie way more than I should admit. I try to view the entire saga at least once a year, sometimes more. But that’s actually not even close to true. Typically once I do get on a Freddy kick I don’t stop with a single viewing, it typically takes multiple repeats before I can get passed it and move on. Not to mention how often, even today, I continue to replay that NES video game.
This really wasn’t intended to be a look at how I got into the movie; I really just popped The Dream Master DVD into my Playstation and began typing. I suppose I was hoping it might inspire me to write something else entirely.
Needless to say I never saw them as horror movies, or even slasher movies for that matter. To me they were always fantasy movies with a really powerful, really scary monster with supernatural abilities to take people into a magical world only accessible through dreams. I thought of Freddy as an interdimensional being with the power to alter reality, not as a child-murder turned killer ghost.

Ranking the Freddy vs. Jason movies: Part two the Jason movies.

The Spiders Lair ranks the Freddy vs. Jason franchise. This is part two, the Jason films.

Jason movies

Friday the 13th 2

I wish I could tell you I have some fond memory of discovering this movie as a child and how it shaped who I became, much like the Freddy movies did. No, I didn’t ever watch these movies when I was growing up. I saw part 3 and part 7 when I was a kid, the rest I discovered long after reaching adulthood.

That being said, I was able to go into these with the clarity of a new comer who lived through their first-run, but missed them entirely. That helped reduce the rose-tinted glasses of nostalgia. That’s why I think I was able to name part 2 as the best of the series. For me, it was the only truly scary movie in the series and the one that really defined the slasher summer movie genre.

The plot was basically just repeating the plot of the first movie but with a new set of kids. The only variation was the killer. It had some good jump scares but the gore was definitely yet to become a staple of the series. This one had the most believable characters, for the most part, and the final girl felt like she really deserved to survive not just because she happened to be cast in the role.

Fun fact: The head of Jason’s dead mother is used as a prop, and plot device in this movie tying it back into the first movie.

Friday the 13th

I ranked this one higher than my personal enjoyment of it. The reason, it’s a classic and it reminds me slightly of The Last House on the Left in tone more than the following films. Since I loved that movie I give this a pass. As far as scares go, it’s not that scary. It’s mostly pacing and jump scares, more atmosphere than anything. Much like Sleepaway Camp to follow, this movie relies heavily on the fake out of not revealing who the killer is. Now, to be fair, the twist at the end of that movie was a real twist and not a tacked on jump scare to justify a sequel.

Fun Fact: Kevin Bacon is one of the victims in this movie.

Friday the 13th 4

The Final Chapter. Right, just like The Final Nightmare was the last time we saw Freddy Krueger. For some reason this one jumps out at me as the most 80’s horror movie I have ever seen. This one has the great hair music, teenagers being actual teenagers, Corey Frigging Feldman, and hockey mask wearing Jason getting some visually stunning kills. Oh and hot twins.

Fun Fact: This was the first movie to feature a story arc that carried over to the following movies more than just the setting and Jason.

Friday the 13th 3

Now in 3D! Freddy waited all the way until his intended demise film to go 3D. Not Jason, they did it in the first movie to have what would become his iconic mask. It was the first one to stray from using an all orchestral soundtrack to a solid 80’s rock soundtrack, but it was for the better. The movie had much better special effects, likable characters and even a sub-plot involving side characters. It even had a flash back that implied Jason might have raped girl.

Fun Fact: The nerdy character in this movie drives around in a totally 80’s retro VW Beetle reminiscent of G1 Bumble Bee.

Friday the 13th 6

 

Friday the 13th 5

I typically try to avoid ranking movies from best to worst following numerical order. Often times the movies do degrade progressively but sometimes you get an odd instance where a quality sequel will rise above the rest. This is one of those cases where part 5 sort of stands alone as the black sheep of the series. No small feat considering how many films stray from the formula. I have a lot of things I really enjoy about this movie but it’s still not the best. I like the change in setting. I love how different it is in tone and kills. What does trip me up though is the fake out reveal at the end, and the crazy red-neck characters that seem to contribute nothing but a cheap joke. This was one of those I did see as a kid. Not the whole movie but I distinctly remember the kid that I thought was trying to look like Michael Jackson who got killed in the outhouse scene.

Fun Fact: The hot blond doing the break dancing moves in this movie is the daughter of the woman who played the English teacher in the original Nightmare on Elm Street.

Freddy vs. Jason

Yes, this is the breaking point. From here on the movies all go downhill. One of the biggest complaints this movie gets from fans of both franchise is it doesn’t seem to work well as a solid entry in either series. I happen to disagree. I think it works better as a Freddy movie than a Jason flick, considering the Freddy stuff stays very true to the mythology that came before and this movie just makes up its own Jason mythology as it goes along, like they pretty much all do. However, I still enjoy it as a movie more than all the rest of the films on this list.

Fun Fact: The black chick was one of the singers in Destiny’s Child (that defunct band Beyonc√© started in.)

Friday the 13th 8

If I was being completely honest, remove Freddy vs. Jason and this movie could go up a notch on the list. Chronologically this is where the franchise hit rock bottom. Everything after this is just garbage.

This movie has few redeeming qualities for me. I enjoy the early boat stuff, the parts most people tend to despise, but I completely hate all the physic dream stuff. This one felt like it was trying to appeal more to the Freddy fans and it didn’t work. At least not for me.

Fun Fact: Jason actually takes his hockey mask off voluntarily for a scare.

Jason X

I like this movie more than most. I don’t think it’s a bad movie. I do think it is a bad Jason movie so ranking it among the others in the franchise it tends to fall pretty far down the list.

Fun Fact: This was another in a long line of horror movies moving to space for some reason. Others were Leprechaun and Hellraiser.

Friday the 13th 7

I hate this movie. It takes the psychic stuff too far. It has a few decent kills and it expands the mythology, I guess, but it messes up the time line and is just plain boring to watch.

Fun Fact: This was the second time a corpse jumped out at the end to drag someone into the water.

Jason Goes to Hell

This was one of the few I did see when I was a kid. In fact it was the only one I watched when it was a new release. I didn’t like it at all. The body switching stuff was too much. Jason didn’t look like the familiar character at all and since it as the first one I watched all the way through it soured my opinion of the franchise for several years.

Fun Fact: There aren’t any, New Line cinema bought the franchise and it should have ended here. I think they only made Jason X just to hold people over until they could get Freddy vs. Jason off the ground.

And that’s the list. Considering I haven’t even seen the remake yet I can’t rank it. Considering how my views tend to differ from the mainstream I am not sure what I will ultimately think of it. I do own the DVD, I just have never gotten around to actually watching it.

 

The Dark Web podcast episode 3- (SH*THOLE EPISODE) Nintendo Labo, R-rated horror movies on the decline?

https://thespiderslair.podbean.com/e/the-dark-web-podcast-episode-3-shthole-episode-nintendo-labo-r-rated-horror-movies-on-the-decline/

This R-Rated examination of the decline of hard-r rated horror movies. Also a look at how Donald Trump has made it okay to say shithole in the news now. A brief but energetic rant about the Nintendo Labo crap coming from Nintendo, and a look at the passing of the world-famous singer of the Irish band, The Cranberries. It’s a shorter episode packed with lots of thoughts in rapid succession. Oh I also talked about the recent Cracked video layoffs.

The Dark Web podcast episode 3- (SH*THOLE EPISODE) Nintendo Labo, R-rated horror movies on the decline?

https://www.podbean.com/media/share/pb-njgnm-845b5f

This R-Rated examination of the decline of hard-r rated horror movies. Also a look at how Donald Trump has made it okay to say shithole in the news now. A brief but energetic rant about the Nintendo Labo crap coming from Nintendo, and a look at the passing of the world-famous singer of the Irish band, The Cranberries. It’s a shorter episode packed with lots of thoughts in rapid succession. Oh I also talked about the recent Cracked video layoffs.

Introducing the WhatsStreaming series- The Dark Web TV

This is just a short little video explaining what the purpose of the What’s Streaming segments are and the format the show will follow. If you have a channel, show or video series you’d like to see mentioned on What’s Streaming then feel free to reach out. Even if you just know of a good channel you think deserves more recognition that works too. Thanks for watching. Follow The Spiders Lair: Twitter: @phatrat1982 Facebook: @thespiderslairblog Podcast: http://thespiderslair.podbean.com/feed/ iTunes: https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/t… Website: http://www.thespiderslair.com Please like and share.

The Dark Web TV Episode 2- UNBOXING STUFF, Go-Bots combiner team and more

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In this episode I introduce a new soda product I recently discovered. I start things off with my first ever unboxing. For the What’s Streaming segment I mentioned two YouTube channels that are interested to me. They were Biographics from the people who make TodayIFoundOut, and MetalJesusRocks crew. In the Retro Showcase I showed off my original Go-Bots combiner team, Puzzler. The Dark Web TV is a news/talk show done in a similar format to a typical news broadcast but modified for the YouTube audience. This show is a companion piece to The Dark Web podcast. New videos are set to stream each week. Follow The Spiders Lair: Twitter: @phatrat1982 Facebook: @thespiderslairblog Podcast: http://thespiderslair.podbean.com/feed/ iTunes: https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/t… Website: http://www.thespiderslair.com Please like and share.

Is Nintendo Labo going to hurt the collectors market?

There are two things Nintendo is well known for; always doing their own thing and owning the collector aftermarket. Just about every product they make becomes a collectible over time. The die hard fans pretty much are also hard core collectors. Walk into any used video game store and you will see the price of Nintendo products always hold their value. Whenever a new product gets released and supply doesn’t meet demand, scalpers are quick to snatch them up and prey on collectors who have to have the new Nintendo toy right away. However, what about these new cardboard toys? If Nintendo is selling them with patterns gamers can use to make their own replacements. Well, then how is that going to affect the collector market?

What happens ten years from now when a collector is trying to finish up their Switch complete collection but nobody was able to save these things in mint condition because 1, cardboard doesn’t last forever, or 2, well how can you spot an authentic Nintendo manufactured Labo kit and one someone made themselves? On that same topic, how are you going to value the customized kits? Nintendo showed in the video these are going to be plain cardboard, you, the user, will have to color or decorate them yourself. How is that going to affect the collector market? Are you going to see these being sold aftermarket for high price points because collectors will see them as art? I can’t think of anything Nintendo has ever done (since getting into video games) that is as odd as this.

Picture working in a used video game store. How do you take these in for trade ins? How do you tell the authentic ones from the ones people make? Do you give more in credit for the creative art or do you devalue the ones that aren’t ‘mint’? I have no idea how this is going to play out. Ultimately I imagine the games themselves will likely live on but the actual cardboard stuff will probably be a footnote in the grand scheme of things.

If the Wii got a lot of flack for all the little plastic accessories, I am curious to see how gamers react to these new cardboard kits. At the very least they do look like they are taking advantage of all the Nintendo Switch Joy-Con controllers features, so there is that.

The Spiders Lair Ranks- Freddy vs. Jason franchise: part one the Freddy movies

This has been a long time coming. It’s no secret I like to make lists, who doesn’t lists are fun. I also thoroughly enjoy the slasher movie genre. My favorites are A Nightmare on Elm Street and Friday the 13th. The two franchises clashed in 2003 with the blockbuster spectacular “Freddy vs. Jason.” This is a list ranking the entire franchise as if it were one franchise, from best to worst. This is purely based on the opinion of The Spiders Lair, so I hope you enjoy this article as much as I enjoyed writing it.

Freddy

A Nightmare on Elm Street

By pretty much all accounts the original Elm Street film is by far the best in the series. It really wasn’t my first exposure to the series, that honor belongs to The Dream Child, but it was easy to see why it’s been regarded as the best once I did get to see it.

For those that don’t know the movie is about a child murderer who is turned into a demon who can enter the dreams of teenagers and if he kills you in the dream you die for real. The premise sounds silly but it’s actually a very well done film.

Fun fact, this was Johnny Depp’s first film appearance.

A Nightmare on Elm Street 3

This was the second of the Elm Street films I got to see and pretty much became my favorite for the longest time. There was a time when I might be inclined to say this was the best in the franchise with the original either a tie or a close second. As time has gone on I have learned to appreciate the original more and more. I still enjoy this movie too, but I do think the first one is slightly better mostly for being original.

The movie takes place a few years after the previous two. It appears as though Freddy is spreading through Springwood like a plague with teenagers dropping like flies. The main story focuses on a group of kids, the “last of the Elm Street teenagers” that Freddy is trying to kill off. The kids are all institutionalized trying to survive their nightmares. This is one of the better movies in the franchise and easily the best of the sequels.

Fun fact: Laurence Fisburne of the Matrix fame makes an appearance in this movie.

A Nightmare on Elm Street 4

I remember the first time I watched this movie. I had already seen Part 5 and part 3 but none of the other movies at this point. I was flipping through the channels and we had one of those free preview weekends of the premium movie channels. I had never seen it before but when it started up I was so excited to be watching another one of the Elm Street films. By the time I got to the end of this film I was beyond hooked, I was borderline obsessed.

The movie takes place after the events of Dream Warriors. Freddy comes back to life in one of the better scenes in the franchise. The movie, is not as good as the one that came before, but it’s still much better than many of those that came after.

Fun Fact: This movie features some awesome 80’s MTV references.

Freddy vs. Jason

I consider this the last of the true Elm Street movies. Although it’s not a true Freddy movie in the strictest sense, at least it’s still “in universe” and that means a lot more to me than how scary it was or wasn’t for that matter.

The movie pretty much ignores most of the sequels. The movie gets into the backstory of the character a little bit, which I enjoy, and of course pits Freddy against everyone’s favorite hockey masked slasher killer.

Fun Fact: This movie was supposed to feature Pinhead from Hellraiser but they couldn’t get the rights.

A Nightmare on Elm Street 5

A part of me wants to always pick this one as the special place it holds as the very first Nightmare on Elm Street movie I ever watched. The first time I saw it I had no idea what the mythology was or backstory I just jumped right in and was hooked right away.

The movie follows the survivors of the previous films, as they often do, trying to get on with their lives. As is also often the case, the teens in this movie must all be new transfers who had no knowledge of their peers killed in the last movie, because they all take quite a bit of convincing Freddy is thing, let alone them not even knowing about the legend? When I as a kid I never pieced that together but today it’s a glaring flaw in the film series. At least with the Friday the 13th films the teens are all aware of Camp Blood. They just ignore it to get their freak on.

Fun Fact: This movie features a comic book “Super Freddy” sequence that I thought was cool as a kid.

Bonus Fun Fact: The VHS release of this movie featured a “rapping” Freddy music video.

A Nightmare on Elm Street 6

I am sure there are going to be those out here who call me every name in the book for ranking this movie higher than dead last. For me, personally, this is not the worst movie in the series. Sure, it’s over the top with the comedy, not that scary and the 3D is terrible. However it actually gets a few things right that make it a notch above the bottom to, for me at least. First, Alice Friggin Copper plays Freddy’s step-father. The trip into Freddy’s mind revealing scenes from his past is by far the best part of the movie. The Looney Tunes version of Freddy isn’t as appealing as the MTV version of Freddy but I still enjoy this movie.

This movie takes place in the distant future where Freddy is down to his last teenager. He needs to send the kid out into the world to bring him some “fresh meat” which he does of course. The movie has some flaws but it was a lot of fun the first time around and I still get emotional when the credits roll with all those scenes from the previous movies taking me back in time.

Fun Fact: This movie makes a GREAT post-Wizard reference to The Power Glove.

A Nightmare on Elm Street 2

I was tempted to rank this dead last, as it is my least favorite of the original franchise. However, I cannot stand how the New Nightmare ignores the previous movies mythology. That alone kills it for me. I never cared how “scary” it was or how “original” it supposedly was, all I cared about was how it was just breaking the rules and dismissing all those movies I fell in love with. Well, instead of spending all my time

The movie itself isn’t terrible, just dull, slow paced and less scary than most. It does help set up part 3 which is more than enough for me. It does break a lot of the rules, but can you blame it, being the first sequel there rules weren’t quite well established yet.

Fun Fact: This movie is treated more like a haunted house film than a free roaming dream demon the of the later movies. It’s also the first time the house becomes a set piece, later becoming a staple of the franchise.

Wes Cravens New Nightmare

I dislike this movie. I won’t get too much into why I just felt it disrespected the movies I enjoyed. I know some people like this movie and make outrageous claims like it’s one of the best or even the best by some accounts. I just don’t get it.

Fun Fact: This movie reunites stars from the original.

Check back for part 2: The Jason films.

The Dark Web TV Episode 1- Transformers DVDs, Google Chrome, and esports

The Spiders Lair presents The Dark Web TV, a talk show devoted to internet, gaming and techie news and culture. In the discussion segment the topics are the changes to the Facebook news feed and Google Chrome blocking ads on sites. What’s Streaming segment show cases some videos and channels to keep an eye on. The Retro Showcase of the week is the Shout Factory! Transformers More Than Meets The Eye Original Animated Series Box Set DVD collection. The premiere eSports segment mentions a few upcoming events with some general highlights. The Dark Web TV is a news/talk show done in a similar format to a typical news broadcast but modified for the YouTube audience. This show is a companion piece to The Dark Web podcast. New videos are set to stream each week. Follow The Spiders Lair: Twitter: @phatrat1982 Facebook: @thespiderslairblog Podcast: http://thespiderslair.podbean.com/feed/ iTunes: https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/t… Website: http://www.thespiderslair.com Please like and share.

Top Ten Comic Book characters that deserve their own standalone movies

Right now Disney and Marvel Studios are basically on a roll as they continue to churn out one hit after another in the super hero genre. All while DC flounders around trying to figure out how to get their heads out of their butts. Still even with all the fantastic movies getting made, and the sloppy seconds, there are still a ton of great comic book properties that have yet to be tapped for the big-budget Hollywood treatment. If we truly are in the glory days of super hero movies, then I suspect there has to be a few years left before the bottom falls outs. Here is my top ten list of comic book and super hero characters that need their own movies A.S.A.P. As with all of my lists, this is not a rank the numbers are just for organizational purposes. Thanks.

1. Dawn- Cry for Dawn

The goddess herself is perfect for a stand alone movie. Her iconic look is something even casual comics fans might recognize even if they won’t know much about the character. It’s also a perfect way to get the character more exposure and would most certainly be a hard R rated movie.

2. The Tick

I know, I know he has been treated fairly well on the small screen. But imagine a movie with the budget and creative force that could match something like The Mask and you might have yourself one of those super hero comedies that could have wide appeal. I would hope for this film to be set in the PG-13 super hero world with just enough mature jokes to appeal to the older fans while being accessible to the younger movie goers, especially teenagers.

3. Cadillac’s and Dinosaurs

I shouldn’t have to make a very strong case for this one. It’s obscure enough to fall outside of the mainstream to avoid direct competition with Disney, while being an interesting enough idea it could have a strong enough appeal.

4. Martian Manhunter

Let’s face it DC and Warner Bros. have no clue what they are doing when it comes to the Justice League. It might be time to just give up on the shared universe and give one of the cooler, lesser known characters a shot. I have zero faith in their ability to pull it off but am still hoping something gets made sooner rather than later.

5. Cyclops and Phoenix

I know they are doing the Phoenix Saga but damn it Wolverine has gotten 3 stand alone films and Cyclops continues to get treated like a throw away character. As a fan, Scott Summers was always my favorite X-Man, and his lovely wife Phoenix was a perfect counter to his personality. The duo went on plenty of solo adventures away from the rest of the team and their wedding was a major event back in the 90’s why not give these two their own feature film. Base it on their mini series or do something original, throw the kids in there for good measure and I am all in. It’s not like they could possibly make it any worse than Origins Wolverine.

6. Jimmy Olsen

It doesn’t have to be a super hero movie but the character could be perfect for scaling down the Justice League debacle with the opportunity to do a stand a lone movie centered on a side character. It would work best as a political thriller with the super hero world being only passively referenced as needed. Cameos would also need to be bare minimum for this to work.

7. Buffy the Vampire Slayer

Okay before you scream there already is a film based on that series, or that the comic books came later just remember reboots are all he rage right now and a good Buffy movie based more on the show and comics that followed but with a darker tone and maybe a good hard R might be just what this vampire slaying franchise needs.

8. The Human Torch

It would seem as though Hollywood can’t seem to figure out how to make a Fantastic Four movie fans can agree on. While I personally loved the original I disliked the sequel and still recognize the flaws of the movie. Why not just remove the most popular character and give him a stand alone film first, skipping the origin story and bring the unit together Avengers style in the third film, following a stand alone Thing movie.

9. The Mask

Again with reboots being so popular, Freddy Krueger being dead an buried and New Line Cinema just a fading memory, why not reboot this comic with an R-rated gore fest that more closely resembles the comics. Let Jim Carrey have a brief cameo if you must but why not this movie is screaming for a remake.

10. Silver Surfer

There were a lot of things wrong with Rise of the Silver Surfer. One of them was the terrible special effects of Galactus. The other mistake was using him as the center piece of a Fantastic Four movie when he would have been better off getting his own film. I am not exactly sure where Disney and Fox are on their deal but if they really want to get the FF characters back into the fold they need to do it right. Step one, make a Silver Surfer movie and tie it into the MCU. Step two make a stand alone Human Torch film skipping the origin story and jumping right into the action, also making it part of the MCU. Then give the Thing his own stand alone film before bringing the group together or better yet, Silver Surfer, then Human Torch then FF then Thing stand alone, similar to how they handled the X-Men and then Wolverine movies but don’t make another origin story.

There you go a list of comic book movies to hope for but probably never get made.